Monday, July 24, 2006

Missed My Opportunity

awkward and misplaced here in this city.
I should have left to a different place or different university in Wisconsin or Seattle. i am a college student with no friends that are true college students, a young adult with no young adult experiences, a unique person in a bland stifling environment (UNO and Omaha are for middle aged mid life crisis family values this is not for a college kid). i want to be young, naive and invincible. all i want is to leave this suburban city-town. in doing so i rushed from high school to career, i love college, the vibe the ideals and the struggles. college fits me and my crazy courious personality. really my college comes in between my jobs. but i never went to true college nor will i continue to go. after i graduate that will be the end until i go back as an adult if i choose. i look at my life and get worried because soon i will be working the 9 to 5. where was my kegger, my poetry reading, my dorm room memory, where was my life experimentation? i have to go to coffee shops by my self or to concerts alone. i dont hear that underground band. i don't hang out with college students i hang out with 40 year old white women or strippers, trust funds and 25 yr olds gay men that act 13. i guess i am unsatisfied but more so, disappointed because my life will always lack giving it the good old college try.

get me out of here! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Breeders create there on demise

White trash wedding
So my friend Sam is married. I am actually pretty upset about how this is allowed. I feel like she is a child now with the ability to make adult decisions.
Back to the beginning: they met about three months ago, never dated, basically fuck buddies, didn’t talk to each other for a month (half of the time they knew each other, they hated each other). They have sex with other people continuously, and no one minded. She even slept with his best friend a few weeks before the proposal and caused another rift. The FiancĂ© continuously battled any sort of relationship status and commitment phobic (had a longer on going affair with his neighbor and pissed sam off).
This leads to the proposal: Angered by Samantha fucking his friends and realized that his phobia had pushed any of his previous flings he freaks out. Wants sam to stop fucking around and is scared of dying in the war… oh hold up, wait, repeat! Oh that is right the on the fore front of fucked and failure of a relationship is: our man just joined the army. Suddenly he’ll die before he could get married, so he grabs the closest thing and there stands my friend, stupid and willing to find any replacement for her daddy who left years ago. Suddenly she has purpose and a reason for having lived. Its a legal document PROVING that some person loved her… she has the ring to prove it. Yet a signature does not mean he loves her and a ring doesn’t mean that either of them know what love actually is. This also leads to the most important reasons for the wedding: money. Now sammy receives a stiffen from the government. The purpose of the law is to reimburse wives of soldier who have their primary bread winners shipped off. (My neighbor Emilia also had a proposal before her ex left to Iraq. He said that he would split the monthly stiffen with her. She said no). the problem is that they have not discussed these detail in the week long engagement period, she has no idea that she will be responsible for paying his car payments, ect. She thinks its hers for fun and he’ll never see it. While he doesn’t know he just acquired 3 years of debt that sam is still living in.
The Ceremony: She thoroughly believes that she will marry once. The only thing that sam wanted from childhood was a pretty white wedding with the church, dress and bride’s maids to boot.
Sam got married in the court house, in a dress from doctor johns (a local porn shop), with a taco bell stain. She gave her self to him in a dress that she has had sex with many other men for her wedding. Her best friends from highschool and college are absent (including myself) but his best friend was there. They have announced that though they are married they will continue to have an open relationship. THEY DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER, THEY HAVENT DATED, THEY SLEEP WITH AND DATE OTHER PEOPLE, THIS ISNT EVEN AN OPEN RELATIONSIP BECASE ITS NOT A RELATIONSHIP!
If you know me I have done what I can, but reason has no place here.