Teacher Knows Best

"Matt, your not bitchy... your expressive"

One From the Last Blog

Yes it is all good we are back and blogging. However, I do feel it has been so long since I posted (for some people this is the primary source of keeping in touch with me) that some are probably behind. I guess I was pissed, I just figured out somthing not usually talked about in relationships, I never knew about falling out of love. Its a wierd concept, kinda like falling in love but reversed (after so many steps and mutual emotional growth and escalation you have an epiphany and one day truely realize you love another person). In reverse, you realize you are not in love though you once were. One day you come to terms with it. Its wierd, you would assume that love is one of those perminate emotions not gradually lost, but kinda like how an old friend from grade school, your not really friends (there isnt bitterness or remorse just different paths). Its just a concept that one day I woke up and realized it, though it was gradual I never knew it was happening. But, how do you tell your partner that... your not in love after saying it for so long.

Val's Day

eh, this is late but those of you who still need SAD look at my favorite site:
Blackheartsparty.com
Their history section get me through the day.
on another note i am excited to see 300 it looks kinda dream like and cool, to bad they wont keep that whole gay thing (I guess it didnt go over well with the demographics). i an glad I am starting this up again, i forgot how great it was to vent!!!

not that i want to bitch about sex but..

I decided to see if I still knew my password. Well, I am not in the best moods however… I am not in the worst mood. I feel kinda like I am only depressed for the sake of depression (maybe because its getting all sunny). Well not a lot to add but I did want to bitch about that awful new Fox News sitcom. Why the hell is there a sketch comedy show that is on a 24 hour news channel? Second why does it have to be SO bad? Well beyond all that I feel slighty disenfranchised as a youth of todays culture. I cant be the only one who feels lied to by media peers and society. This is what I am talking about… sex is not the life altering from boy to man experience that it was illustrated to be (awkward, uncomfortable, hilarious, fake it and over rated are the words that come to mind). But why aren’t there the firecrackers further more why was it soo scary and what about it was so redeeming. As many know sex was not what it was imaged to be, its fine and once you understand it is good but was never accurately portaged and can never be obtained in a cinematic sense (i.e. see friends with money, the sex scene with Jennifer Aniston). Sex is a great connector and in its context fabulous but why was it made to be something it wasn’t, why was the myth of sex created? I am also pissed there is something called a ‘happy ending’ there isn’t. There will always be the day after until you die. Life is work, don’t get married and assume it’s a coast, don’t assume you have the dream job lined up until you work it. I always kinda wanted to play ‘adult’ you know have the high powered job in a large Plexiglas building and call the shots. Really, this is a very DULL experience. Life goals should never be to work in a cubicle (i.e. Office Space). Friends are not these life long unchangeable pals who are by your side for eternity and will stand you for even when you are wrong. This is an ideal and does not exist. I have nothing wrong with my friends I am sure I can find some one to listen to me bitch or something. But I feel left out that there isn’t some person to go to the bar see me at a coffee house talk about crazy idea, the people you chill with every weekend. That above all is what I want and… it doesn’t exist. I feel like we are a disenfranchised generation expecting great simple sex and an exciting dull job, please don’t show me a Happy ending at age 5 when it doesn’t exist (Down with Disney). I don’t know I just want to complain, thanks for the read.