Sunday, April 29, 2007


We had a talk about not getting back togather, and I dont think he go the picture. I also tried to tell him that I kissed some one else but never had the chance. That kiss really showed to myself i was over Jeff

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Kiss Can Change Everything


It was an interesting night a few weeks ago. Went to a house warming party of a friend that I met through Jeff. But I came with a boy. Mike and I were kinda friends and hung out over the year but never really looked at him. I was dating and so was he. But we both broke up with our boyfriends at the same time and understood each others pain. He invited me out previously to hang at the bar with his friends. On this night he asked if he could pick me up go to a dinner and then to the house warming (therefore, I was not driving). When we showed up at the party Jeff’s friends, sitting on the balcony hooted and whistled at Mike but as I emerged from behind him there was an awkward silent stare. I had no attraction to Mike really but it was nice to talk to a person who doesn’t hoot and holla’. I was respectful and anticipated Jeff being there... but he bowed out. That night, not driving and it being a long semester, I was able to drink and gladly did so. Soon mike and I sheared a drink back and forth and talked. Mike is a wrestler maybe an inch shorter than me and never finished college but has big heart. By 12:00 I was toasted and ready to leave (one of my friends ended up being belligerent). We ended up at his apartment on the floor watching (but not really) a movie and drinking wine. I inched towards him and eventually he leaned in and we met with our lips. Maybe I was recover from the rejection of a relationship, maybe it was missing the touch of a person for months, maybe it was wanting to feel accepted by a friend after falling out of favor with so many, maybe it was wanting to fall into favor with a special person or maybe it was just the red wine. we kissed for hours and wound up in his bed room i dont know what time i went to sleep. I started to like him. It was sadly awkward the next morning. Though no sex, we seemed to avoid conversation. With loosing what seems to be a lot of friends and a boyfriend of almost a year and a half in the same month I just don’t know if I can take this rejection or maybe I'll get over it like everyone else.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Nightmare Returns


well, it was nice to see jeff again and take him to a protest and sleep by his side, even though any chance of us ever reuniting is quickly dimishing if not already passed. but hanging out with him over the last day reawaken my nightmares that i suffered before the break up. its a weird situation i cant remeber, other than very recently, haveing nightmares (it must have been in Junior High or before since my last nightmare). This time one dream woke me up several times and it was so perverse and grotesque and dont feel comfortable writing it on my blog. I have never had such a strong subconscious reation to somthing before. It is hard to discribe, like a severe mental allergy.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

and now it is sunny

Ahhh, its been an interesting week. I had the lovely privilege of going to two protest, a wedding and balance finals. On Saturday I went out to Trinity Church and interviewed people protesting Love Won Out a traveling show of Exodus International, you know: pray the gay away, more on that later. Sunday I went a pro peace war protest with Cindy Shean; it was interesting to see such a large turnout and sadly, a Republican group came out for a pro-war protest… and not a single person came to support, kinda funny. Cidny was not the best public speaker but when it was opened up ofr Q&A, watch out! Also, CONGRADULATIONS to Sam and Jake for finally getting married. It was surprisingly classy… I swore somebody would have shown up in sweatpants.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Why is it Snowing

are the seasons being pushed back or something? what is up with the snow, has there been a climate pattern change that i wasnt made aware of. seriously, SNOW!?

In the back of my berried neurotice/crazy i cant help but think these crazy turbulent weather has spun from my personal emotion heavey storms followed by sunny releasing days followed by cold pure snow.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Caught in the whirl of cameras and people




took time out of my weekend to run over and see Barack Obama speak at a town hall meeting. He He spoke eloquently about Social security (gave examples of the appropriate measures to take to save it not privatize it), find more diplomatic solutions in the world arena, securing border, global warming, give tax breaks to gas stations that offer alternative fuels, and like a good democrat… education. He did however avoid the question about gay marriage and no one ever asked about it. He also went over his extensive state senator and legal profession, and confronts his short term in the House of Representatives. Overall I liked him best but it is still too soon.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

An Interesting Out Come: 2008

With this quickly developing presidential race and candidate’s receiving public and media attention at an unprecedented level for how early it is, it gets one to think. Here is an interesting idea what if the two leaders in the polls getting the noms. What if Rudy Gullianni received the Republican nom and Hilary Clinton snatch up the Democrat’s nomination? Well as previously discussed and by your comments we see that Hillary looses her base and middle road voters and Rudy, well pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, pro-gun control and from NY, he could be the most interesting candidate choice. However, he would not be the first pro-choice Rep, like Gerald Ford (it is not a make or break in the party). Let us not forget he is for the war, which is an important point for Rep candidates, further more, he is one of the star players. The pro war could serve as a fatal stance, but it is not always the easiest to poopoo 9/11 with the Mayor of New York right there. Like Hilary, people knew Rudy would be running. Since 9/11 he has been waiting and preparing for the end of the Bush administration. Maybe Brian might recall a few high school conversations of what if Rudy was running? But it could be argued Rudy would lose votes just as fast as Hilary (see below). The base would be corrupted and straight ticket voters would rethink their parties. However Rudy might actually gain some middle ground Dem votes lost by Hilary making him less of a causality to the party.
Who will the republicans vote for, where can the right wing turn to, where will Christian conservatives sway the public? Don’t worry Senator Hagel can answer these questions and save the day. If Rudy gets the nomination Hagel will run as an independent. With Fundamentalists shining spotlighting an independent candidate it will create the shift in media that editors are looking for, this shift is a powerful new perspective. New Breaking Story: Is American Politics Changing Forever? More at 9:00.
The left side always produces a few people wanting/trying to run unsuccessfully, but with the new media focus on third parties this could revive some left/libertarian parties. As soon as the media sees the underdog parties rising to the occasion and raising notable funds (Hagel could get a lot of wealthy support from the south and Midwest), it will be a feeding frenzy a new refreshed view of the long, over reported race. That spotlight is important in winning and they could easily own it.
Imagine: Chuck, independent, gaining the large republican base, Rudy gaining middle and military votes but, Hilary playing the game well and with name recognition picking up some but loosing most and chasing voters out of the party leaving numerous liberal votes to be picked up by a few leftist candidates.
What a messed up political arena, I will love it. Honestly, do you know how big it will be for third parties to get name recognition, this could go against every thing I have been taught. But, actually, so was the upset of the Reps this year, remember people did it see it coming until a few months before in the polls during the races- as the war took a turn for the worst and media really pounded the problemed administration suddenly everything changed.
I know it is unlikely but don’t poopoo this, it has happened before, already the war has created a successful third party stance with Liberman. The Republicans weren’t always in existence, they were a third party, there were successful third parties that rose up to fight the masons, and even past presidents, Abraham Lincoln, have run on third party tickets and won because of a war. I know it is too soon, but the way things are headed this could be an interesting race any way you put it.

Polls

Friday cnn.com: In poll after poll, including the new TIME poll, does that advantage seem to disappear whenever voters are asked to pick a president in hypothetical head-to-head match-ups among front-runners with solid name recognition. In our poll, Hillary Clinton loses to John McCain, 42-48%, and to Rudy Giuliani 41-50%. Even though Clinton maintains a 7% edge over Obama among Democratic respondents, Obama fares better in the general election match-ups. It's so close that it's a statistical dead-heat, but Obama still loses: 43-45% to McCain, 44-45% to Giuliani.