I have great reservation on such common house terms for describing individual's sexual characteristics in our culture. Not too long ago I wrote a story on aids testing and in doing so I signed up to receive a test for HIV to understand the process and sympathize with the individual. Part of the visit was a question answer segment in which I had to reply the question of my sexuality on paper, for medical record and as testimony for the councilor. previously I came to terms with my sexual identity by saying I was 'bi' (and in some aspects I am, as well as the most other men) it was much easier to accept this load with out many of the connotations that went with male attraction. I used the 'bi' identity though the later years of high school and early years of college, but it soon faded away, undiscussed. My active interest was in males. I dated twice, both bi like me and both not honest with themselves like me and it was an obvious, irritating lie but denial is the most powerful thing. before i was called into the office my term 'bi' was archaic and had gone unused by me for quite a while. all my friends knew me and my history but there was no term used other than "my attraction." As I sat in the office I had to accept a term and my mind became violent. my statement would be the first written and recorded as my sexuality. deeply i knew what was true and that I no longer went by: bi. against my inner longing, I uttered the one word "homosexual." It is a cold word, saying actually gave me shock for the first time since 7th grade. I choked on the word half way through in total pain of what I had admitted to be true. i have strong distaste for any term which exist to describe me and my friends.
Homosexual: Homosexualitat, a term coined in the industrial revolution during the age of scientific explanation developed by Karoly Maria Kertbeny (1824-82) this was the detached scientific term used for the mental disorder.
Gay: ironically meaning happy, this is a recent cultural phrase, uneducated slag, a simple fad with weak comprehension and strong over simplification. I feel my sexuality is stronger than just a fad slang term. I despise the public idiom with an uneducated view.
Queer: Becoming far more acceptable this term means, weird, unusual, incorrect. this still carries the stigma of bigotry, it is like other cruel terms like Faggot.
Sodomiser: Sodomy, Truly one who sod the grass. this is a religous term originating from the biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorra, the cities where the spited by God and destroyed due to the sin.
This term lead me to my Proposition:
on campus there is a Gay and Lesbian organization. i noticed though that the term gay doen't necessarily mean male, many females consider themselves gay. homosexual is also unisex term for both male and females. there seems to be a positive name for men like me.
Lesbian: the term comes from Sappho of Lesbos
Naturally their should be a male term, i suggest Spartan
still continuing.
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7 comments:
wow you went on wuite the posting jihad today. i'd like to comment on some of these threads. very interesting topics. i'll post my response later. anyways...off to think about gay mormons and how much I LOVE THEM!
supposed to be 'quite' not 'wuite'.
yes, i had a day off and i had many ideas that i wanted to get out in writing but never had the time, or the computer which i refer to as my 'conservitive editor' so i went to the library, researched and wrote from morning until close... very satisfied. also, i would love to hear a coherent responce or to see if my view of the world is insane! well as saddly i must say this derrek seems to have a more mentaly undstable crush then either of us there for is more likely the winner of this sad metaly unstable triangle stoker. beside recheal has suffered enough with the lack of comments on her quote... which is why i posted my resonce there in the first place... hehe. but any way i have let brandon go for a reason, (or new obsetion ;)
oh, dear, no. derrick is much more sane than the rest of us. trust me. but, I never let go of my boy obsessions. I just build on top (hee, hee)of old crushes. I have like twenty to thirty. You learn to give each the right amount of obsession. I guess I'll have to teach you just how to do that young skywalker. It is vital that you learn. More to come, later...
no i merely later over one and then get tired of them while relizing all og their unforivable flaws... so i move one quickly, never looking to the past, i keeps me unhurt when they turn out to be dimbasses, dicks, or s
Ok, so. Labels, labels and more labels. What can they really tell you. I think the situation that you had when you went for the AIDS test is something that many gay people deal with. Words have the power that society gives them. 'Homosexual' is a very cold word to me. As is most words that deal with gay relationships. Words that talk about the intimate relationship between two people of the same sex - partners, lovers, same sex spouses. I find those words so cold and distant. They convey so little love. But, I find the words husband and wife kinda cold and archaic, but so is marriage, but that's a whole other story. Anyways, I knew a lesbian who just graduated who shrugged off the term lesbian or gay. At a diversity presentation on Creighton's campus, she said "I'm queer, and that's it". I would never use the word queer to describe myself or anybody else; nor would I use fag or faggot. I know there is a whole mindset in many minority communitties is taking a word that had previously been used against you and then using it as a mainstay so as to reinforce that word with positive connotations. Many blacks refer to one another as 'nigga'. I know that there are gay folk who use queer and fag. I don't. I don't use any words that have been used to put down someone like that. I just find that it doesn't empower anyone, just creates awkward situations.
Further, I don't know why there is a word for female homosexuality, but not male. Society is a fuuny thing. It chooses what it will. Someone is black or white, or gay, or straight, or bi, or whatever. Most people fall in between on the Kinsey scale of sexuality, but still be people choose straight or gay. But they don't really tell you a lot. our world is hung up on labels. But a quote from Toni Morrison says a lot. In her book BELOVED she says "labels are for the definers, not the defined". True.
hmmm...
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